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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Confessions of a failed leader #3

Series begins here.
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I have been giving a lot of thought to this series since I started it. My purpose of this series is not to throw a pity party for myself or garner anyone's sympathies. Rather, I am giving an inside look into how I experience leadership, a certain kind of leadership. I figure I might not be the only one who has ever felt this way.

Here is another inside look: I tend to believe (on an emotional level) that I must get all of my motives in check before I can be an effective and authentic leader. Now, think about that condition when you read these confessions. For a person like that, leadership is a living hell.

I have come to the cognitive conclusion that waiting for my motives to be in check is like waiting for perfect weather - even if it does come, it'll be gone shortly. Now, on an emotinoal level, I still have some work to do in really believing that I can lead even when my motives are not perfect or even all that good.

I hope that this confessional will give hope to people who lead something that they are not alone in their secret questions, worries, concerns and selfishness. I know that these words would carry some more weight if I were some famous leader. Ah, but God knows better than to make me a famous leader, for now anyway.

So, here goes:

21. I can’t lead because I don’t know how others view me.

22. I can’t lead because my view of myself is contaminated with current emotion state, no matter what it is.

23. I can’t lead because my appetite gets more votes than anyone.

24. I can’t lead because I’m too easily satisfied with my own little rewards to wait for rewards that will benefit my followers.

25. I can’t lead because I need to be revered.

26. I can’t lead because I think talent is enough.

27. I can’t lead because I let momentum be the victim of distraction.

28. I can’t lead because I think my critics are my enemies.

29. I can’t lead because I believe that what’s written on the package describes adequately what’s in the package.

30. I can’t lead because I am afraid to lead.

6 comments:

Bek said...

here's two more of my own personal confessions, experienced as recently as this morning:

i can't lead b/c i get annoyed and frustrated, when i should be understanding and patient.

i can't lead b/c i am lenient and wimpy when i need to firm and tough.

Neal said...

To be perfectly honest, I'd be more comfortable following you than many leaders I've been forced to submit to. For me, the single most important quality of a leader is the ability to admit his inadequacy for the task. Some people call it recognition of brokenness, but it's the only way to start this process realistically.

Donna G said...

I agree with Neal,

and my greatest excuse, I can't lead because I am "only" a woman.

**at least you have never got to use that one..**

Fajita said...

Ha. Donna, you have got me on that one.

Which actually brings up another painful issue. Being male in the church culture I inhabit gives me so much privilege that I don't utilize.

I'll stop there, but I have much more to say about gender.

Anonymous said...

Speaking as a follower, but not for all followers... I lean toward Neal's comment. This quote came to mind:

"Beware of the Christian leader who does not walk with a limp."

If we could see more of a leader's weaknesses, maybe there would be less attempts to deify so many folks rather than following someone as they follow Christ. Lots of folks have leadership titles and roles... but who is following them? There's a good test for leadership. Even if they're blindly following a freak, he's doing something right to drug the masses (scary!).

Angie Burns said...

Speaking as a follower, but not for all followers... I lean toward Neal's comment. This quote came to mind:

"Beware of the Christian leader who does not walk with a limp."

If we could see more of a leader's weaknesses, maybe there would be less attempts to deify so many folks rather than following someone as they follow Christ. Lots of folks have leadership titles and roles... but who is following them? There's a good test for leadership. Even if they're blindly following a freak, he's doing something right to drug the masses (scary!).